Americans always have loved their automobiles. If you’re thoughtful and honest, there really are few exceptions.

There’s this standing joke in our family about my car. It’s a 2000 Ford Taurus wagon, but I affectionately call it Mercedes. My sons’ laugh at me because I keep repairing and driving a station wagon. I know it’s just a Ford wagon, but somehow calling it Mercedes creates a perspective that’s become priceless to me.

The laughter is therapeutic and the understanding frees me from placing unrealistic desires or demands on my car. It frees me to be more real with myself and others, thus, avoiding getting me stuck in ruts because of displaced, unrealistic or false expectations.

Once, I was in middle school in Kaufman, Texas. Texans have trucks. I remember we had this hideous, yellow Ford F150. My then-stepdad decided to recover some railroad ties from a part of the tracks they were turning into a trail. We loaded down that F150 with railroad ties like a dump truck.

When we tried to drive off, it buried itself in the gravel. Over the course of the next few days, everything was attempted to get it out of the deep ruts. It ended up being pulled out by a 4×4 Jeep. Then, the F150 was stuck again, attempting to recover railroad ties, but was pulled out without a 4×4.

I guess it’s unreasonable to treat F150s by demanding they perform like dump trucks or vehicles they are not capable of being. Unrealistic desires and demands often can have you treated like an F150 and constantly stuck in ruts and needing assistance to get out.

It’s safe to say most of us cherish our freedoms. But I also believe many mistake their pursuit of happiness for freedom.

Happiness is allusive and places loads on us we never were intended to carry. It ends up burying us under weights leaving us stuck in ruts we cannot get out of.

Happiness is demanding. It often tries to put more weight than our F150 is scheduled to carry. The irony of it all is, once you’re stuck, happiness won’t lift a finger to help.

Happiness is willing to go through life treating F150 like dump trucks.

Freedom is to the heart what water is to the body — life sustaining. True freedom, empirically speaking, loves others for who they actually are instead of what we want them to be. It doesn’t place dump-truck demands on F150s and get angry when the truck becomes buried in ruts. Freedom gives other people, even people we say we love very much, space to be a Ford Taurus person; even if we believe they could be a Mercedes Benz person.

This kind of freedom isn’t just allowing others to be free from caring loads they were not intended to carry. It’s more about us being willing to give others their freedom; thus, freeing us from a life time of anxiety brought on by the weight of unrealistic demands and desires that grow into dump truck size loads we attempt to force into F150 size trucks.

The reality is: If you’re trying to force someone to be something they’re not, you may not really love that person. You’re putting weights on them they aren’t able to bear. They can become buried and helplessly stuck in unmovable ruts. Everyone around can see there’s way too much weight on the truck except for you. The person flounders to survive in the unrealistic demands placed on them by someone who says they love them.

Love produces environments where people don’t constantly feel like they need someone else to pull them out. Love creates safe places free from conditional well wishing and projecting of unrealistic expectations.

It’s OK to dream but a Ford Taurus station wagon never is going to be a Mercedes no matter how long you call it that.

If you’re resentful or angry because those around you aren’t living up to your standards or expectations for them, you aren’t cultivating environments where others drive freedom’s highway. Rather, you’re cultivating environments where you’re going to be constantly pulling others out of ruts.

Do you constantly find yourself pulling others from ruts? Is it at all possible your part of the reason their constantly in ruts? What if real love allows others to drive their own cars and doesn’t ask them to weigh down their vehicles with impossible loads?

I drive a Ford Taurus station wagon and I’m OK with that even if you’re not. And I’m not constantly seeking someone with a 4×4 to pull my car from ruts.

Do you want others to be happy? Invest in a tow truck. Do you want others to be free? Don’t ask them to treat F150s like dump trucks.

Proper perspective is priceless. It even allows station wagon drivers to ride freedom’s highway — and not from behind a tow truck.

Dr. T.J. Kimble of Radcliff is a clinical pastoral counselor. He can be reached attj@yourbestlifenowcounseling.com.