Childlike approach is invaluable, but avoid childishness

I admit I have done some very childish things in my lifetime. Growing up, I was fascinated with gravity so I jumped off housetops and rode bikes over homemade ramps. I will spare the details of all my childhood antics not wanting to give other kids dangerous ideas.

I like testing things out to discover what they are and how they work. I am an altruistic analytical thinker who’s realized, with great certainty, being childish can be costly. Just ask my knees.

On the other hand, I have come to appreciate the unencumbered ability to be childlike as it relates to thinking about what things really are and what they are not.

Thinking about this contrast, I reminisce and smile about a special moment with my son, Thomas, which forever is etched in my mind.

He’s always been fascinated with cars and as an adult passionately works on vehicles for a living. As a 2-year-old, he always was around cars. One day we were waxing our car and after two hours of buffing and polishing we had a beautiful shinning car.

My wife walked out to check on us during the towel test. Standing on the driver side of the car, I slide a towel over the hood completely off the other side of the car. With pride and elation, I looked at Thomas and said, “Now that’s a shinny car, son!”

Without hesitation he replied, “Dad it’s not a car it’s a Volvo!”

Thomas’ declaration was no matter how many times we waxed that car or how shinny we made it look it always would be a Volvo; no matter what we did to it. No amount of wax ever could change that fact.

Being childlike is invaluable.

As people, if we’re not careful, we can become highly presumptuous about what we realistically can control and change and confused about how we think about what we actually have the right or ability to change.

We’re often confused about the difference between actually changing something opposed to merely altering it so it seems different in appearance or performance.

I have a story I tell to test this theory and most adults, unlike children, really have to think about it often vacillating back and forth before finally responding.

If we went together to pick up a Ferrari to drive on the city streets in the U.S., we might be required to put a speed governor on the motor. The governor would not allow the Ferrari to go the usual 211 mph but limits the car so it only can reach speeds up to 120 mph. Now that the Ferrari’s governed to control its speed does that change the vehicle? Thomas would say no, understanding it’s still a Ferrari that simply had an external stimulus (the governor) added to alter the vehicle; not change it.

A Ferrari is a Ferrari and that doesn’t change because you add a governor anymore than a Volvo stops being a Volvo because you wax it.

I guess understanding the difference between childishness and childlikeness is a lot like understanding the difference between what you actually can control verses what you can. Thinking like Thomas did about the Volvo matters when it comes to understanding childishness and childlikeness are not the same.

And the difference really does come down to thinking correctly about our human limitations as they directly relate to what we have the power to really control.

The Spanish language has two sayings which mean “to be.” Ser vs. Estar is helpful in thinking correctly about what is permanent and unchangeable versus what is temporary and can be altered.

Ser is used to describe permanent unchanging things. I was born in Texas. That can’t change. (Soy de Texas.)

Estar is used to describe temporary things like emotions and locations. I feel happy. (Estoy feliz.) Depending on my surroundings and environment my happiness can change, but where I was born never changes.

Personality is a lot like (estar) depending on where we are and how we feel it changes. But character and inborn temperament are like (ser) they don’t change just because you change jobs or move to another state.

I am an introvert. (Soy una persona introvertida.) I think constantly and no matter how many masks I try to wear I am not going to actually change and become an extrovert.

It’s childish to think you can jump enough to be able to defy gravity. It’s childlike to understand that a Volvo is a Volvo no matter how you alter it.

Being childish in your thinking changes nothing and can be costly, but being childlike in your thinking is invaluable because it empowers you to except, embrace and appreciate things for what they were really made to be.