Peer influence can be powerful tool for change

Every person has influence.

It’s a sobering thought because we are constantly exerting influence of some kind whether we realize it or not. And influence can be the most powerful force anyone possesses. It’s a game-changer on all fronts.

Take, for example, an incident that occurred during World War I that’s talked about in the book “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” by Robert B. Cialdini, Ph.D.

He describes an account of a German soldier whose sole job was to sneak across the front lines and capture enemy soldiers for interrogation. This particular German soldier was an expert at the job, having successfully completed many of these missions. The expert navigated the no-man’s land and quickly surprised a single soldier in the trenches.

The author says, “The unsuspecting soldier, who had been eating at the time, was easily disarmed. The frightened captive with only one piece of bread in his hand then performed what may have been the most important act of his life. He gave his enemy some of the bread. So affected was the German by this gift, he could not complete his mission. He turned from his benefactor and recrossed the no-man’s land empty-handed to face the wrath of his superiors.”

Talk about the power of positive persuasion and the virtually immeasurable reach of reciprocities ability to influence others to change their behavior — sometimes in ways most might think or consider unimaginable.

The power of influence is alive and well and may be your most valuable asset when it comes to reshaping, changing or extinguishing one pattern of behavior for another. This especially is true when it comes to the power of peer-to-peer influence.

This reminds me of an amazingly true story illustrative of how powerful peer influence can be. A psychiatrist was bound and determined to teach his 5-year-old son to not be afraid of the water and play in the swimming pool in their backyard. He set a goal of having his son splashing and uninhibitedly playing in their pool before the end of summer. He went to work modeling the desired behavior daily for his son to see. The psychiatrist would rest on a float, paddle in a life vest and exhausted all imaginable techniques to help his son overcome his fear of the water.

Nothing he tried seemed to work and with the end of summer rapidly approaching, the psychiatrist was getting desperate. Then one day he noticed his neighbor had a guest with a young boy about his son’s age, playing in their pool. He went over and introduced himself, explained his dilemma and asked if their young guest could come and play in his pool.

The next thing you know, the little boy with his inflatable toy was jumping off the diving board of the psychiatrist’s pool and had the full attention of all the adults and the doctor’s son.

After two or three more effortless jumps off the diving board, the guest swimmer suddenly was being followed off the diving board by the psychiatrist’s son. The boys continued to jump off the board over and over and the fear of the water was gone by leveraging the power of peer influence.

Vicarious modeling can turn your worst enemy into your best friend. And it can empower friends to become inseparable partners who use their influence, from their parent’s garage, to reshape wide-scale changes in established thinking patterns.

Vicarious experiences can empower influential leaders to play second fiddle becoming what the rest of the team needs; thus, inconspicuously influencing widespread change, creating positive ripple effects, throughout the entire system.

What if we miss many opportunities to be influential because we are unwilling to change and become all things to all people, so that we may save them from life-and-death situations? What if we decide to become whatever we needed to become and to do whatever we needed to do to influence, reshape and transform the lives of so many desperate people who are all around us?

That might require great change on our part. Positioning us in places to empathetically share our last piece of bread with our enemy, allow someone else to teach our child how to swim and to become whatever is necessary, even learn a different language or culture, to demonstrate the power of peer influence to provide far-reaching changes that reshape our world.