Don’t fake your way through life anymore

It’s time we start calling out counterfeiters.

I’m not talking about people who print bogus money, although those who damage others lives passing phony cash should be held accountable. Anyone who’s seen fake money damage and destroy innocent lives can hardly sit idly by and watch counterfeit money passed to someone who’s eventually stuck with fake bills.

What if it happens to you? Do you want counterfeit bills you can’t spend? It prompts people to take measured action. And when they realize they can’t get their money back, they began to take precautions to avoid ever receiving fake money again.

It’s pretty rational until the same counterfeit concepts are applied to surrogate emotions.

Irrational emotional experiences are not authentic and not really consistent with who we are. Rather, they are contrived at the emotional level for the express purpose of counterfeiting and faking who we are to others and ourselves.

Talk about the scandal of the ages and the greatest cover-up of all times. As a society, have we succeeded at masking our true feelings so well we’ve emotionally bankrupted ourselves? Think it can’t happen to you? Think again.

You can wake up one morning look into the mirror and have no idea who’s staring back at you. People working in public service positions are at much higher risk of falling prey to episodes of emotional masquerades. Police, firefighters, lawyers, judges, city officials and pastors are at higher risk of creating surrogate emotions to cover real emotions.

Unlike other public figures, pastors are expected to be perfect so emotional masquerades that counterfeit real feelings seem like part of the job description. And they get lots of help and encouragement by well-meaning people very willing to overspiritualize the need to cover-up authentic God-given emotions.

Anger is not even a topic for discussion in many circles. “Thank God you have overcome” seems to be the mantra repeated to many pastors. Oh, well the Bible actually says, “Be angry and sin not.” News flash: Anger is a God-given emotion that actually serves real functions.

Not to mention the fact many pastors feel stuck realizing they’re really not called to pastor. But a well-meaning dad, uncle or influential person thought they’d be a match made in heaven as a preacher.

Now they play charades covering up their real feelings until they wake up and realize they’re as phony as a three-dollar bill. Then they explode or completely break down, stop pastoring and forever abandon their faith. The counterfeiting of surrogate emotions totally repulses them and the facade of disingenuous treatment finally folds them.

Just like the basement counterfeiters, it catches up to them and the masquerade is over.

Listen, pastoring is one of the most rewarding positions ever, but it’s a calling not a job.

If you can do anything else besides pastor and sleep well at night then you’re not called to pastor. And you should enjoy working the job that provides you fulfillment as a person.

Everyone in public service knows about the mask I’m talking about and deep down they long for authenticity.

It’s time to start calling out counterfeiting of surrogate emotions. I’m asking you to be brutally honest with yourself about who you really are and who you really are not.

Life is really about authenticity. Sincerity is the mantra of the truly meaningful life.

All God-given emotions serve to empower us to understand and meet felt needs in appropriate and healthy ways that are brutally honest and fiercely attended.

Counterfeiting emotions and ignoring authentically felt needs is like someone ignoring a properly working oil light.

After a few days, the red light bothers them so they tape over the light and keep on driving. A few days later, their car makes noises, stops running, and that’s the end of the car’s motor. All because they attempted to address the light as the actual problem when in reality it only serves to indicate there is a problem: Your car needs oil.

What if many of our emotions are like oil lights? There not the problem, but they don’t need to be ignored or spiritualized away, they need to be appropriately addressed and responded to in emotionally healthy ways.

Could you imagine someone telling you to thank God you have overcome your oil light coming on? It’s time to put an end to the charade, band-aid-covering denial games and begin taking a long hard look at the facts.

Some things just can’t be counterfeited.

It’s time to be honest about counterfeiting emotions that are cover ups for real emotions genuinely serving the vital function of indicating our emotional motors low on oil.

We have all been fearfully and wonderfully made for meaningful, authentic relationships. God-given emotions keep us from the irrational cost of imploding and losing our distinctive lives that are actually worth living.

Was it William Shakespeare who said, “God has given you one face and you make yourself another?”